Googling the Past

Every now and then, whenever I’m in a bit of a funk, I start thinking about the past. This of course, is not really helpful, but I do it anyway because as Bono says, I get stuck in a moment, and I can’t get out. More often then not, thinking about the past leads me to think about past choices, past relationships, and before I know it, I’m goggling names of ex-interests.

“Hey, I googled High School Boyfriend last night,” I tell Ian in the morning. “Did you know that he’s won the Nobel Peace Prize? Just think! I could have been Mrs. Nobel Peace Prize!”

At lunch I call Ian again. “Hey I googled College Fling. He’s just climbed Mount Everest for the fifth time! What do you think, do you think I would have been happier with College Fling?”
Ian’s immediate response. “You hate the cold.”
“But what about Nobel Peace Prize?”
“You hate planes. You’d be a wreck on the flight to Sweden.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right.”
I hang up the phone, disappointed. It’s true–I hate to fly and I’m not much of an outdoor person. But one persistent thought remains.

“Why didn’t it work out with High School or Fling?” I ask Ian plaintively, after dinner. Ian is patient. “Because honey, neither of them would put up with playing the Google game with you.”

When he’s right, he’s right. Ian is the perfect match for me.

Poor guy.

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