Nothing sexier

Miranda teaches yoga at my fave studio. I used to take her class until I got hooked on another form, and now I just see her in passing. I miss her serenity and patience — plus, she has fantastic curly hair that I covet.

We chatted yesterday after class, and I mentioned that I’m getting my braces off this week. She said that she had a boyfriend with braces (as an adult) but that she liked him better with crooked teeth. “Well, Kirsten Dunst once said that there’s nothing sexier than a girl with crooked teeth,” I said, then paused. “Of course, SHE has crooked teeth.”

Miranda laughed. “I say there’s nothing sexier than a girl with a big butt,” she replied coyly, looking down at her own rear.

“And I SAY there’s nothing sexier than a girl with a poochie stomach!” I crowed, patting my belly. And we both cracked up!

“If you do nothing, nothing will happen.”

I went to the 10:30 Yoga class this morning because I wanted to spend my evening working. (Which devolved into reading waiterrant.com, but oh well.) The teacher was someone that I’d never had before. She seemed nice enough. At the beginning of class, we went around the room and said our names, injuries, and ‘any other issues’, as is the tradition in this particular studio. I said my name, and that I was working on Bhujapidasana (the first leap frog pose). Over the last month, I’ve just been leapfrogging and…hanging out, not progressing much. I mean, if you want me to bear all the weight of my body over my bent elbows while hugging my legs with my arms…it’s just gonna take some time for me to accept that.

When the pose came, she was helpful enough to come over and assist me. Then she started reeling off the sequence after this pose to the rest of the class. The poses are in sanskrit, so I’ll just give the English translation:

“Bhujapidasana” translation “bear all the weight of your body on your elbows”
“Ttitibasana” translation “bear all the weight, kick out, then elevator my ass down? Not on your life.”
“Chakrasana” translation “Backward Somersault”

The skill level of this class was not that high, so by the time she got to saying Chakrasana, most of the class was sitting, cross-legged, waiting for the next pose. She started to laugh. “Okay, if you do nothing, nothing will happen.”

If you don’t even attempt, don’t even start to signal to your body what it can do, then nothing will happen. You’ll be bored and hanging out in the first leap frog pose for a month.

Wise words. And applicable to much more than yoga.

The injustice of it all

So Sarah and I go to the same Asthanga Yoga classes, practically the same amount, and started at the same time. (And I am not still bitter about the fact that the yoga teacher once said to us, “Sarah, you’re about six months ahead of Bee.” No, not at all.) But SHE is losing weight around her ass and *I* am gaining weight there.

WTF?